SOCIAL MEDIA AND COMMUNICATION ETHIC IN ISLAMIC PERSPECTIVE

Social media is very useful for establishing warm communication between family, friends, and various society. For those, needed to keep a good communication relationship. This paper examines how communication ethics on social media for married couples to prevent family disharmony. Uses literature studies, this paper analyzes primary sources, namely positive law, interpretation, hadith, and references related to social media. Then it is also added with secondary data from magazines, newspapers, documentation from the local religious court. The results of the study indicate that there are seven communication ethics through social media: taking benefits and leaving losses, meaning that social media has benefits if used wisely; practice fair time management; be open with your partner; selecting friends wisely; say the corresponding statement in posts and comments; keep the couple’s disgrace and not indulge themselves on social media; and look after self-esteem. [Munculnya media sosial sangat membantu dalam ranah komunikasi antarkeluarga, teman dan berbagai kalangan. Untuk mewujudkan itu dibutuhkan etika komunikasi yang baik. Berangkat dari realitas itu, artikel ini mengkaji tentang bagaimana etika komunikasi di media sosial untuk pasangan suami-istri agar tidak terjadi ketidakharmonisan keluarga. Artikel DOI: 10.21274/epis.2019.14.1.27-46


Introduction
Communication is a requirement for social interaction in people's life. Since from communication, people can receive the response either positive or vice versa. 1 Human being communicate directly, namely face to face. Over time, media has emerged for people to communicates, whether in the form of writing, letters or e-mail until now there are some various kinds of social media such as Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, MySpace, Linkedin, Flickr, YouTube, Twitter and others. Various effects were caused by social media, especially in family life such as married couples, relatives and even children, and communication relationship between father and mother. 2 The existence of social media that is not used wisely can trigger family disharmony, even lead to divorce. Ahmad Sahroji reported that there were five regions with the highest divorce rates in the Religious 1 Paula S. Tompkins, "Acknowledgment, Justice, and Communication Ethics," Review of Communication, Vol. 15, No. 3 July 2015, pp. 240-57. 2 Anupriya Kaur and Y. Medury, "Impact of the Internet on Teenagers' Influence on Family Purchases," Young Consumers, Vol. 12, No. 1, March 2011, pp. 27-38. Court due to social media. First, the divorce cases in 2017 in Bekasi about1.862 out of 2.231 was due to third parties through social media. Second, the 157 divorced couples in Depok, are due to a number of social media accounts. Third, the 1.535 divorce cases in Balikpapan. Social media are said to be one of the factors causing divorce. Fourth, the 2.211 cases in 2016 in Situbondo was due to the same cases. One of the factors triggering disharmony is social media. Fifth, there were 891 divorce cases in 2017 in Lumajang. 3 Of these facts, the main cause is infidelity. The progress of android mobile phone technology makes it easier for people to communicate. Therefore, it triggers for lies.
The presence of social media is very useful especially related to information on knowledge and increasing global insights. The transition from print media to online media certainly faces significant social changes. The ideally, social media presents a correct and valid message as broad as possible, delivering the actual news. In fact, social media as a public sphere is often used as a tool to reconstruct social reality, and even adjusting to the market type, which is still familiar in society. 4 On the other hand, social media is also useful in other matters, for example, gender. To socialize equality for human being, social media also plays a role to eliminate the bias understanding about gender.
Observing the real problems of the communication impact through social media, which is not done wisely, can cause family disharmony, and even a cause of divorce. This is a serious problem, if it is left unchecked, the higher the divorce rate. This paper explores the communication ethic look through social media for married couples to prevent from family disharmony, as a preventive step by analyzing the aspects of positive law and normative texts (Qur'an and hadith).
The paper uses literature research, in which the researchers raise and analyze primary sources. By describing the actual situation, this paper uses descriptive qualitative. As for analyzing the data, it begins with gathering all primary and secondary data, then sorted according to the problem, proceeding to data validation with the crosscheck and arriving at the final stage of conclusion.

Social Media Communication Ethics & The Preventing Family Disharmony
Family is the most universal and fundamental social institution which performs a variety of functions in human society. Family is a small community in a home, which grows and develops biologically, psychologically, spiritually and socially. Famous Sociologists like Ogburn and Nimkoff have classified functions of family mainly into six types: (i) Affectional (ii) Economic functions (iii) Recreational functions (iv) Protective functions (v) Religious functions and (vi) Educational functions. 5 Another famous sociologist K. Davis has classified the functions of the family into four main divisions: (i) Reproduction (ii) Maintenance (iii) Placement and (iv) Socialization of the young. 6 Davis calls these as social functions and opines that family also performs some individual functions which are a corollary of its social functions. The family performs many educational functions for its members. As a primary educational institution family used to teach letters, knowledge, skill and trade secret to all it's members. It looks after the primary education of its members and molds their career and character.
Besides, the mother act as the first and best teacher of a child. He learns all sorts of informal education such as discipline, obedience, manners, etc. from family. Of course, at present many of the educational functions of the family are taken over by school, college and universities sill family continue to play an important role in providing the first lessons and primary education to its members. Therefore, the basis of the family is caring together, loving, providing protection, as a part of its members. The function of the family, not only continuing descent but also providing self-quality as a part of the community, as a social agent who plays a major role in life on psychological, biological and religious development. Therefore, the family is as the main equipment to establish a perfect personality. 7 The internet is a technology product that is very useful and used by various groups in community. Internet is one of the advanced technology products in which we can communicate all over the world without having to meet face to face but through indirect contact, namely virtual world. So that even far away seems close. Many things can be done through social media including friendship, scientific studies and so forth. 8 Through the sophistication of information technology, people have other alternatives for social interaction. 9 As seen from a historical perspective, the internet began to be used by people in 1969 when the US Department of Defense, U.S. Defense Advanced Research Project Agency (DARPA) conducted a research on how to connect a number of computers to form organic networks. This research program is known as the ARPANET. 10 Based on data from the Indonesian Internet Service Providers Association (APJII) on Penetration of Indonesian Internet Users in 2014, it reached 88.1 million users out of the total population of 252.4 million people and 132.7 million users in 2016 out of the total population of 256.2 million person. 11 Dealing with most frequently visited contents of Social Media by Indonesian people, according to the APJIII survey, can be described as follows: 12

Source: Association of Indonesian Internet Service Providers Picture 1 Social Media Content Frequently Visited
Based on figure 1 about social media content that is frequently visited, Facebook is still the most popular social networking site. The data above can continue to change with the increasingly inseparable internet in today's people life, besides with the emergence of various kinds of social networking sites.
Communication through social media in any country certainly has regulations/policies to regulate the use of social media, in terms of information and electronic transactions. It contains ITE Law which has been changed (

Article 3: Utilization of Information technology and Electronic
Transaction is carried out based on the principles of legal certainty, benefits, prudence, good will, and freedom to choice technology or technology neutral. Article 4: Utilization of Information technology and electronic transaction is carried out aimed at a) educating the nation's life as part of the world information society, b) developing national trade and economy in order to improve people's welfare, c) increasing the effectiveness and efficiency of public services, d) opening opportunities broadly to everyone to advance their thinking and abilities in using and utilizing information technology as optimal as possible and responsibly; and e) providing security, justice and legal certainty for users and providers of information technology. Article 27: 1) Everyone intentionally and without rights distributes and /or transmits and /or makes access to electronic information and/or electronic documents having contents that violate decency, 2) Everyone intentionally and without rights to distribute and/or transmit and/or make access to electronic information and/or electronic documents having contents of gambling, 3) Everyone intentionally and without rights to distribute and /or transmit and/or make access to electronic information and/or electronic documents having an insulting content and /or defamation, 4) Everyone intentionally and without rights distributes and/ or transmits and/or makes access to electronic information and/or electronic documents having a charge of extortion and /or threats. Article 28: 1) Everyone intentionally and without rights spreads fake news and misleading resulting in consumer losses in electronic transactions. 2) Every person intentionally and without the right to disseminate information intended to generate hatred or hostility of certain individuals and/or groups based on ethnicity, religion and race (SARA).
The law generally regulates information technology electronics (ITE), as well as violations subjected to criminal sanctions. Therefore, the author initiated an ethical discourse on using social networking as a means of communicating in cyberspace, especially for married couples. The problems explained before showing the importance of initiating this discourse. It is expected to be a preventive step to avoid family disharmony. Family disharmony, if not handled properly, can lead to divorce. However, family disharmony due to the use of social media or communication through social networks, in particular, is not an excuse for divorce. As determined in Government Regulation Number 9 of 1975 concerning the Implementation of Law Number 1 the Year 1974 concerning Marriage Article 19: a) One party commits adultery or becomes a drunkard, compactor, gambler, etc. which is difficult to cure. b) One party leaves another party for two years continuously without permission other party and without a legitimate reason or because of anything else, beyond his ability. c) One party gets a sentence of 5 (five) years of imprisonment or a severe sentence after ongoing marriage. d) One party commits atrocities or severe abuse which endangers another party. e) One party gets a disability or illness caused unable to carry out its obligations as a husband or wife. f) Between husband and wife, there are continuing disputes and quarrels and there is no hope of living in harmony in their home. 13 Furthermore, it is also regulated in the Islamic Law Compilation (Presidential Instruction No. 1 of 1991 on Islamic Law Compilation) Article 116: a) One of the parties committed adultery or becomes a drunker, compactor, gambler, and others that are difficult to cure. b) One party leaves another party for 2 years continuously without permission of other party and without legitimate reasons or for any others beyond its ability. c) One party gets 5 (five) year imprisonment or severe penalties after ongoing marriage. d) One party commits cruelty or grave torture endangers each other. e) One party obtains a defect or illness with consequences that cannot perform his or her obligations as a husband or wife. f) Between husband and wife are continuously in disputes and there is no hope of living harmoniously at home. g) Husband violates taklik talak. h) Religious change or apostasy transfers that cause family disharmony. 14 Divorce can be still occurred by arguing on the provisions of PP No The development of science and technology give a significant impact on society or known as technical progress or technical change. Changes in technology progress in each discovery give impact on emotional or mental change of human. Therefore, it also gives an impact on social change in society from various dimensions social, educational, political, and cultural. 17 The impact of information and advanced technology development also affects changes in both social governance, rules, customs, social system meaning, institutions in society both formal and non-formal, patterns of community life, politics, economics, and culture. 18 Social media is indirect communication because it is not directly facing to face. Therefore, it is different from the real world. Technology developments such as the variety of sites offered and convince, added The sentence needs to underline in the above verse is wa'āsyirūhunna bil-ma'rūf sentence. Mu'āsyarah bil-ma'rūf is the living communication in a family with proper and good communication as in Islamic law, common sense, and practiced by people in general. Mutual exchanging good behave includes words and deeds in terms of performing their respective duties in the best way. The problem of family disharmony due to communication through social networks leading to divorce is a contemporary family law problem. In the realm of positive law, its rules have not yet been issued about communication problems through social networks threatening family integrity. However, ideas to overcome this problem have emerged, including the idea of Social Media Jurisprudence. 20 Even the Indonesian Ulema Council has issued a fatwa on this issue, namely Fatwa Number 24 of 2017 concerning Law and Guidelines for Guidance through Social Media. One of the MUI's fatwas was motivated by using digital media, more specifically on social media, in which from the elderly to the children were very familiar with social media. social media is also sometimes not accompanied with responsibilities, such as misinformation or incorrect news, hoax, slander, gossip, distortion of facts, hatred utterances, hostility, confusion, and other forbidden things causing social disorder. 21 In essence, the fatwa is only related to the law and the communication guidelines through social media in general, not related to communication ethics through social networking for husbands and wives. Based on the above explanation, there are several relevant principles and can be used as communication ethics through social networking for couples to prevent family disharmony.

Take Benefits, Leaving Disadvantageous
Faedah mean useful or advantageous, while mafsadah means destruction or damage. Rasulullah SAW guided Muslims to always leave something unprofitable, as he said: Qutaibah conveyed to us from Mālik bin Anas, from az-Zuhrī, from Alī bin ainusain that the Messenger of Allah , said, "Indeed, among the characteristics of a person's Islamic goodness is to leave something that is not beneficial to him." (HR. Tirmiżī). 22 In essence, social networking has benefits if it is used wisely and can be a useless and useless thing if it is not used wisely. Social networking can be a means of doing deeds. On the contrary, it is also can be used to do negative things, especially for husband and wife. It can bring both relations into adversity. By using social media properly and correctly it will bring goodness into family. Even this can add insight into married life, through useful shared contents. Besides, social media can be useful as a means to maintain, remind, and strengthen affection between husband and wife.

Time Management
As a couple, husband and wife can divide their time according to their portion, such as time for personal, worship, at home, and relations with community. In relation to communication through social media, it is expected that a couple of husband and wife is not ignored or complacent in using social media, so that they forget their rights and obligations, Rasulullah SAW said: The above hadith clearly gives an understanding that the necessity to be fair to the rights, especially the family's rights. This applies to both husband and wife. Therefore, communication through excessive social media that neglects liability as a husband or wife is an unauthorized act.

Be Open to Couples
Honesty is an important thing in marriage. Openness between husband and wife can strengthen their relationship and prevent problems, such as misunderstandings and suspicions. The Prophet Muhammad as the best role model has taught Muslims to be honest, as he said: Saving too many personal secrets and hiding them from a partner can be a problem. In this case, social media should be shared together so that the husband and wife can be accessed by each partner. Nevertheless, prioritize good and mutual trust for the couple, not the mutual suspicion and blind jealousy.

Selecting Friends
Islamic doctrine provides guidance on how to find good friends in everyday life. Human dependence with each other is their nature, mutual need helps each other. It is seen in Surah An-Nisa verses 69-70 which means: "And whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger, then they will be together with people who are blessed by Allah, namely: prophets, siddiqin, martyrs and pious people; and they are the best friends. That is a gift from God, and Allah is sufficient to know." The purpose of the verse is that Islam gives a message to people to be more careful in selecting friends. This also applies in communicating both positive and negative. Generally, happy couples do not spit out their relationships in social networks, since it is not necessary for them to do it. More people access those posted on social media, they will increasingly compare their own lives with those of others who look better. This can indeed be an inspiration, but it can also be a source of problems for oneself and family when faced with pessimism and not accompanied by gratitude and qanāʻah. Family life does not always go smoothly, and problems will emerge. Every person who has a family always faces such experience, it is unavoidable. Therefore, the solution dealing with these problems is to manage as well as possible. The various kinds of social networking sites as a means of communication, besides having a positive impact also has a negative impact. Please use social networks properly. There are limitations to use. Some of the ethics as proposed by the authors are preventive efforts to prevent disharmony in the family.

Conclusion
The conclusion of this study was to initiate seven communication ethics through social media for married couples to prevent family disharmony, through analysis of positive law and normative texts (Qur'an and hadith) as follows. First, taking advantage of and leaving disadvantages, meaning that social media has some benefits if it is used wisely and vice versa. Second, using fair time management in family, personal, and social relations, which is not excessive in social media. Third, be open to your partner. Fourth, selecting good friends. Remember, social media can trigger disputes even infidelity. Fifth, saying good words in posting and commenting. Sixth, keeping the couple's disgrace, including not indulging comments on social media. Seventh, keeping self-esteem. The suggestion from this finding is the ethics of communication through social media for married couples to be included in pre-marital course materials. This is a preventive effort on the negative impacts of using social media. Besides, this needs to be delivered in lecturing and sermons on Friday prayers to include the material. Therefore, this can be known by the community and supported with a commitment to keep family functions running well, so that family harmonization is always sustainable.